Who thought the South Bank centre would be ones to get down with it? It being the freestyle oral workouts of modern one man bands, beatboxing. They’ve hired beatboxer meister Shlomo as their new artist in residence, after seeing the multi-talented motormouth combine beatboxing through a loop sampler, beatboxing and drumming simultaneously. He’s set to collaborate with artists as diverse as Martha Wainwright and DJ Yoda as well as bringing back the Beatbox Choir that played at Big Chill earlier this year and 2008 will see the return of the International Beatbox Convention. And for the more highbrow of us, there will also be a series of gigs called ‘Music Through Unconventional Means’ where Shlomo will perform with unusual artists and encourage them to ‘engage outside their comfort zone.’

My head is spinning even though I’m pretty sure there’s is no way in hell this is right but according to Yahoo! News Ciroc Vodka’s parent company Diageo, has not only given the green light to endorsing this joker – they’re actually giving him half the profits! The Alan Partridge of hip hop (albeit with fucking mountains of cash) has somehow fooled the world into thinking that he is still cool, how he does this is beyond me. Who actually likes this guy? I’m pretty sure the hip hop community think he’s the worst MC since Richard Blackwood, have all had a good laugh, gotten the joke and now wish he’d just fuck off. Do the kids like him? Possiby, but kids aren’t legally allowed to buy Vodka. So we’re now down to the plebs you see at bars buying bottles of Alizé and Courvoisier because their favourite rapper just dropped it in a rhyme… but he’s no one’s favourite rapper. Who the fuck could possibly like any artist that puts out an ad like this for their aftershave:

On the first view, I burst out laughing. On reflection though I became incredibly angry that someone, anyone – because these people obviously exist – thinks that this guy has a direct line to god and is every bit as sexy as he thinks he is.

I ‘m going to bed.

This may only be a pipe dream, and if an Audi mobile does actually make it into production it will be as an accompaniment for your Audi vehicle. Outside of it having an mp3 player, Wi-Fi, 3G and sat nav the phone will take pictures on any fuckface who tries to steal your car and track their movements while their at it. Sweet.

They’ll be rolling it out across all the whole Volkswagen family before long one hopes. Remember how exciting remote central locking was? Needs a bit more work on the drawing board:

Th R&B superstar hasn’t so much invented it as designed it really. Samsung seem to be doing tie-ins with everyone they can get their hands on and it appears bouncy’s made herself available for a quick squeeze.

The ‘B’Phone’ features a Beyonce themed start-up screen and the ability to download exclusive Beyonce photos and videos. It will also come with a song she recorded as a child which when you hear her tell the story is incredibly heartwarming: “When I was 10, I recorded a song called 632-5792 — a phone number. It’s a little embarrassing but it’s cute. There’s a recording of that song on the phone exclusively for my fans”.

“It’s only through this phone that you can get this close to my life.”

…

After already designing and releasing a phone with Prada, LG have turned their attentions to designing a phone with another world famous luxury brand – Rolex.  If you’ve been reading these pages for a while (I doubt it, we’re less than a month old) you’ll know what I think of these tie ins.

Only a vapid arsehole could think having ‘Rolex’ branded on a South Korean phone they got free with their 35 quid call plan could make them look like some sort of shit hot bling-meister that just stepped off a private Lear jet. It’s sad …really sad. If anyone out there is thinking about getting one I suggest you get a pair of these just to complete the look:

If you’re a complete bell end please click here

Pretty much everywhere you look. Toyota today launched a new Xbox Live game in which you are a Yaris car with a tentacle protuding out of its sun roof and which shoots stuff on the street as you drive past. Brilliant. It’s available for free to Xbox Live customers in Canada and the U.S.A. and by all accounts it isn’t very good. What it does though is beg the question about whether advertisers will in future go on to bankroll the biggest game titles out there much like they bankroll Bond movies and the answer to that is unsurprisingly a resounding ‘yes’.

You can start expecting to see Master Chief rocking an Oakley logo on his gold face shield, a New Era logo on the peak of his helmet and a Seiko branded time piece on his whereabouts in the next installment of the video game series as Microsoft acquired the video game ad firm Massive Inc. last year and Sony Computer Entertainment America have just announced a new in-game advertising unit for not only its games development team but its Home social networking platform. This new division will be headed up by the 25 year industry veteran Darlene Kindler.

You can get the full story on 1up.com

Here’s an interesting article by Don Reisinger at CNET news outlining how Steve Job’s wiley ways are rinsing O2 and leaving them for dead on the side of the road. As I reported earlier in the week the terms of the iPhone deal are not only incredibly unfavourable for O2 but it appears that Apple’s reaction to the spate of iPhone unlocking that’s been cropping up throughout the States speaks volumes about how much they actually care about protecting the networks with whom they sign exclusive contracts.

Sweet.

If you can come with a good idea for an application on their site. You can get between $25,000 and $250,000 in order to create and develop a new app for the site. I’d imagine it would have to be for somethign useful as opposed to the incredibly annoying zombie eating ninja pirate fighting nonsense that only serves to piss you off. Has anyone developed a way to skin your profile yet – I mean no just your top friends but the whole thing – Bebo style? The one thing I hate about Facebook apart from all the stupid shit mentioned above is that its so damn drab…

Full story on Reuters

Doing his bit to breakaway from boring hip hop stereotypes the groundbreaking visionary that is Pharell Williams has decided to put his hand to scoring three Hennessy TV ads and 10 webcasts. Don’t think I could put it any better than the CEO of Berlin Cameron United, the advertising firm that put the ads together. So let me pass the mic to Ewen Cameron one time:

“Hennessy, volume wise, has a very urban skew to it, the urban metro market was evolving and the insight we had was that the new ultimate consumption was taste. Instead of showing off your rims or clothes, it was about showing off the symbols that articulate your taste.”

Word is bond.

Full article here